hot tears flow off of my cheek,
right next to my lips.
i wonder why tears taste the way they do.
i'm so worn out on the inside.
like when you wash your favourite t-shirt,
way too many times.
hah, i want to write something beautiful.
but the subject too ugly,
too stupid and sad to write something
so lovely and poetic about.
and it seems that these words i spew
are hateful, or they come out as screams.
i hate what's happening.
i hate this, now, the present.
i tend to reminisce, and you know what?
i like it. a temporary relief of everything
and anything that's happening NOW.
it seems as thought there's a continuous air
of heartache, or depression that hovers over me.
no amount of medicine or friends or conversation
can fix what i feel. i wish they could.
oh, how i wish they could.
i'm so tired, and my body aches.
and most of all, my eyes hurt and sting with hot tears.
and why? because i can't help myself.
i'm too small, too weak, and i pity myself.
because i'm just a stupid girl in a big world.
and i'm going crazy. and i've let myself go.
just as i've let these hot tears fall
and scald my ever smiling face.